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Rex Reviewed through Rhyme

Posted by admin On March - 3 - 2012

There is this new Fantasy flight game out called Rex, it has a lot of hype and has beautiful components… but I feel after playing it, I will not be giving it an official review with a rating here on BOP. There are a lot of really positive and cool things about this game but i would probably give it an unjust rating just because of what it brought out in perfectly friendly people while playing it that i’ve decide to write a poem about it instead.


A Poem about my experience with “Rex”

We had just finished “Castle Panic!”
A game of cooperation and wit
We all giggled and laughed
At our all too close win

The master  slayer was congratulated
But to her that was just formality
Because together they didn’t die, but instead lived!
And the rest was just minor technicality.

And then alas, we were being summoned
To which we all turned to look ’round
There was a game of six setting up to play
And asked if we’d be down

So we sat down to play
And the rules were read
“What a Beautiful board!”
One nice fellow smiled and said

The newer of us, somewhat randomly,
picked out our faction characters
paying minimal attention to
their paragraph long special powers

After the very first round,
Alliances were beginning to form
Taking a good fifteen minutes
Before they were actually confirmed

The poor Federation of Sol
Was left for a loner
Because his faction was lame
Kind of like Magikarp

But the game pushed forward
And the first battle had now debuted
The Lazax Empire got excited
“How cool, you get these nifty devices for battle too!”

And just when he went to make his really cool move
The guy to my left, the stickler of rules,
Says, ” you can’t do that because i’ve got this traitor card
that screws you and all your troops wahoo!”

The poor Lazax empire, all his troops dead
He was feeling perplexed and terribly blue
“If I can’t remember my special powers…
How can i remember the other 5 players too?”

But it was time to move on
for battle number two!
The Jol-Nar thought they could contest me,
the Xxcha, even with his 12 fewer troops!

His ally disappointed pronounced
“awe man that was a really bad move”
Defensive and confused, he replied,
“Well I didn’t think she’d be so dumb and play so few troops!!”

Inside I stewed but chuckled out loud
What he said just would not do
(not to mention was  quite rude for this usually nice dude)
so to that I replied “I’m sorry, dumb you say?”
Who just won that battle… was it me or was it you?”

After hours of scowling, backstabbing, and threats
We had sweat on our brawls and serious influence debt
The game store was now closing with no winner as of yet
And I was filled with regret playing this game called Rex

We weren’t going to finish
Everyone was getting frantic
And all i could think of
was that simple collaboration game, Castle Panic.